Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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