You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
