Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
