why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
