blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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