CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
