I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
