You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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