cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
