He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
