I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
