i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
