too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
