Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
