If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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