party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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