remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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