Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
