well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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