i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the day after is always just damage control
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
