I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
