i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
