bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
