How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
