Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
