All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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