apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
