My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sacagawea was the original milf.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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