Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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