You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
