It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
