My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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