Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
