If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
