dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
