some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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