I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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