She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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