Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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