i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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