If i come over, it means nothing
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
oh god the rape fog is back!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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