i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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