get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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