bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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