if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
