You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
