i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
