i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
