im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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