why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
