Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
