so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
