PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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